Friday, May 14, 2010

Never Miss The Chance To Say I LOVE YOU

I can't believe it has been almost two months since my Daddy has passed away. I think about it and relive the moment I found out over and over again in my head. I am haunted by the regrets I have, so many missed opportunities to say I LOVE YOU. The past two weeks I have dreamt about my Daddy almost every night. In almost every dream he is still alive to me but past to everyone else, maybe that means he will always be present in my heart.

But as I look back at the last two months I realize what the loss of my Daddy has done to my family. We are closer than we have ever been, learning to trust and rely on one another. I see my brother in a whole new light, when I look at him I see my Daddy. The man he is truly astounds me. And my sister, my bestfriend, it's not possible to love her any more than I already do. She is the picture of strength. My mom, seriously?! My mom and dad blessed us beyond measure by remaining friends even after the divorce. I wish I could go on and on about my mom but the truth is I can't. I cannot put into words what my mother means to me. BLESSING, in every way she is a blessing in my life. My step-dad who I call dad. He is such a loving man. Its kinda weird that we share the same birthmark, maybe God was marking us so we would know we were meant to be together. I couldn't imagine my life without him. And then Ty and G. These are my main men, my loves. Completely and totally in love with these two guys. Ty has carried me through this and I appreciate it so much. So my family is closer now, really learning the value of one another. It's hard to put into words just how immensely I love my family. My breath and my life are my family. I think that's what my Daddy would have wanted, I just wish he could be here to see it all. I have changed the music on my blog in memory of my Daddy.

William Henry Giroux Jr.

Heavenly Father hear my prayer,
Guide our father with tender care,
Please dear Shepherd don't leave him alone,
Love him in heaven as we do at home.

William Henry Giroux Jr. of Farmington, New Mexico, went to be with the Lord on Monday, March 29th, 2010 at the age of 53. He was born November 6th, 1956 in San Antonio, Texas. He is survived in death by parents Jack and Minerva Kildea, sisters Joann Goldstein, Debra
Hedrick, and Jacqueline Kildea, and brother Allen Giroux. Also left behind are his three children, son Chris Giroux, and daughters Beth Giroux and Brandy Pickard, and two grandsons GraydonPickard and Asher Giroux. Bill is joined in heaven by two grandbabies Hope and Love

Next is the article I wrote to my SS class that was later published in the Baptist Messenger.

I saw God today...

For those of you that don't know, my daddy passed away very unexpectedly on Monday. He became "unreachable" on Friday and still by Monday evening, we knew something wasn't right. I called my stepfather-in-law (Tyrel's stepdad) a local sheriff to check on him. It wasn't but an hour later when he called back and said my daddy had passed away in his home.

•Gods first encounter: God used my inlaws to share the news instead of a stranger

Our church family rallied around us at our home and covered us in prayer. Donations were made that would help us with a multitude of expenses.

•Gods second encounter: He provided the finances needed to travel to New Mexico and pay for expenses!

My family (traveling from 3 differ states) arrived safely in New Mexico. My siblings and I had no clue where to begin, so friends and family stepped in. There was so much to do in such little time. I wrote my daddy's obituary, something I never thought I would be doing at 26yrs old. We cleared out my daddy's home which was so heart wrenching. We donated most of his belongings to Good Will and watching them walk away with his belongings is a feeling I can't quite explain.
His food was given to a family in desperate need.

• Gods third encounter: He provided people to help us and people we could help in return.

Our second day there was doom day as I call it. My grandmother chose cremation so my siblings and I had to identify my daddy's body then sign off on his cremation. While driving to the memorial home, it began to snow, my daddy hated the snow. We spent time with my daddy
praying, grieving, and praising God for ending daddy's pain. As we looked at our daddy, something became very clear to us. That lifeless body was just that, lifeless. We walked out of the memorial home and the sun was shining like a brand new day!

•Gods fourth encounter: He made it very clear to us that daddy's body was there but his spirit had left and been joined with Him. Just as He made the snow fall and then sun shine, so my daddy fell but his spirit shines.

The next day was daddy's memorial service. Once again it began to snow but just like that the sun began to shine again. We were able to reunite with some of daddy's friends and coworkers. They all loved him so much and it was heartwarming listening to their stories about how
my daddy encouraged, loved, and supported so many of them. It was sad to hear many of them say that daddy had a good heart therefore he was in heaven. I wanted to stand up and shout "your wrong!" its the blood of Jesus and our recognition of that that gets us to heaven. Daddy did have a good heart not because of his deeds but because He let Jesus reside there! Praise you God!

•Gods fifth encounter: He brought people into our lives and reminded us what a blessing our daddy had been to so many.

So here I lay in bed thinking about the past few days. There is so much I want to say. We grieved, boy did we grieve, and still are. But we were also able to see God at work in our midst. I have experienced God this week like never before. He has literally carried me through
all the muck that is involved with death and mourning. It seemed that as we would turn a corner, something was there to stand in our way, but God took care of it, every road block was removed! Through mourning the loss of my daddy and thinking of the celebration and
promise of Easter, I am reminded...

- "Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope."
1 Thessalonians 4:13

Hope. What an amazing word. What an amazing God that would die to give us, me, a grieving daughter, hope.

- "I tell you the truth, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life and will not be condemned; he has crossed over from death to life."
John 5:24

Because my daddy was saved... He is not dead but more alive than he ever was! Praise you Praise you God!

- "We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life."
Romans 6:4

What can I say besides thank you Jesus! Daddy is living a new life and the Son is shining on his face!